My Advice to Those in Grieving

Written by Mahayla Palachuk

Dedicated to my beautiful Aunt who I wish I had more time with.
We love and miss you three thousand. Last year in early December, I lost my Aunt. It was sudden and very unexpected. I was looking forward to getting to spend time with her after so many years away from her, but all those scenarios of us doing things and bonding once things got better in terms of COVID came crashing down the day she passed. Like many others who have lost someone or gone through a similar situation, I went through a grieving process. So, based on what I experienced, I wanted to write this blog post in hopes of helping others who are currently going through or went through something similar to what I went through.

1. Let yourself feel emotion (And maybe have a good cry too).

This is something I thought was very important to remind others of. Don’t hide your feelings, because all it will do is make you feel worse in the long run, in many different ways. Don’t feel like you can’t be sad and have a good cry. In times like this, especially when grieving the loss of someone, a good cry can do some good. Don’t in any way feel ashamed of doing it and showing your emotions, no matter what.

2. Do something to take your mind off what happened

This is something I did. The day my Aunt passed I had an event in a club, watching a movie, an event I wasn’t sure I would be able to do originally due to school. But after what happened knowing I wouldn’t be doing anything for school that day, I went and watched the movie like how I was planning to do even before she passed. Doing so helped me focus on something other than what happened and made me feel a bit better. My advice for you is to do something to take your mind off what happened, whether it is watching a movie, reading a book, or talking to someone like a good friend. As an extra tip if you have a friend you can confide in about the situation, do it. Having someone outside of your family to talk about what happened, in my experience at least, is a great thing to have.

3. Accept that what happened happened and that there was nothing you could do about it no matter how much you wanted to be able to.

If you are feeling guilty about someone’s passing or feeling like you could have done something different and prevented the outcome of what happened, stop thinking like that right now. There is nothing you could have done, everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn’t even make sense why. If you ever find yourself thinking like that, stop and remember that everything happens for a reason and there is nothing you could have done no matter how much you wish you could have.

4. Remember that everyone’s grieving process is different

I included this because I thought it was a very important piece of advice. Don’t ever think that because you are grieving differently than another person that you aren’t grieving right. Everyone has their process of grieving, a process which can both be vastly similar and different from another’s. Remember that just because you grieve in a different way than others, doesn’t mean you aren’t grieving. The same goes for not just for you but for those around you.
Everyone’s process is different, and I speak solely from my experience and my experience alone. I hope this blog post helps you if you are dealing with a situation similar to the one I went through not too long ago and in a certain form still going through. Stay strong, you can get through it. Just keep your head above water and don’t lose hope, for while this process will be hard and long and in no way shape, or form easy to go through, it will get better with time. Stay strong guys, we will get through this.